10 Things They Don't Teach You in High School
by TinyDancer14
Summary: Chemistry, English, History... forget it. Sharpay Evans is here to tell you what you really need to know to survive being in high school.


**This is a new Sharpay-centric one-shot by me. The thought just came to me while I was attempting to do my homework tonight and I laughed to myself, thinking just how I could write this. It's got it humor, seriousness, and Sharpay-ness in it, so hopefully you'll enjoy. I thought it was really fun to write, so hopefully you'll think it's fun to read...**

**Sharpay centrics usually are.**

**I own nothing. Yeehaw!! ... And I have nothing against blondes, hahah. Just wanted to put that out there.  
**

* * *

What They Don't Teach You

Admit it, high school can be kind of a trick sometimes.

The teachers are supposed to be there for you every step of the way. They teach you how to write checks, how to do CPR, how to have sex (well, okay... maybe teenagers don't need help with _that_ one), and ultimately how to live your life safely without any major problems. They're there for you when you need help on homework, when you need to make up a test, or even if you just want to chat (but who really talks to teachers anyway??). But you know what? I've found throughout my high school years that teachers don't teach you _everything_. In fact, most of the things I know now I had to learn on my own.

So guess what? I, being the most generous person _ever_, am going to save you the trouble of having to find this out on your own. So forget everything teachers have taught you, because I, Sharpay Evans, am going to teach you what you _really_ need to know when entering your high school years.

Pay attention. Take notes. This is very important information. And there might be a quiz at the end.

* * *

**1- Your Career May Be Stripped Out From Under You At Any Moment- Expect The Unexpected.**

Um yeah. This one I experienced first hand. And it sucked.

Whether you're the head cheerleader, the smartest little chess nerd, or the star of the show- like myself- you could lose that title at any time. There may be someone out there who is louder and bolder than you; who can climb to the top of the cheer pyramid faster and flip ten times higher. Then you're pushed down to the flip-er instead of the flip-ee. Or, there may be someone who can think of strategies faster than you and move the... er, chess pieces... faster.

So I don't play chess? Shut up.

And then there's my case. Some random girl who decides to steal my spotlight and audition for the musical and the role that was so obviously written for me. Who the hell does Gabriella Montez think she is? She waltzes in here from San Antonio or something, expecting to be accepted into the high school world like we're still in kindergarten. Well guess what Gabriella- no one likes you. Sorry, hun. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

But little miss sunshine here decides to audition anyway.

Hellooo? Newsflash to Miss Montez- _I'm_ the star. Has she not heard that? She must not have, I mean, no one auditions if I don't want them too. Ooh! I've got a good story about that! One time, this girl... Jenna... something. I don't remember; it's really of no importance to me. Anyway, this Jenna girl decided to wanted to audition for "Flying Colors," this completely lame and idiotic musical that Kelsi composed, against me. Well, obviously no one auditions beside me because they always get ruled out. _Obviously_. But this time, she said, "I'm not afraid of you, Sharpay Evans. I'll do what I want. This isn't your school."

No honey, it isn't. But my parents are footing the bill for the _entire_ expense for this lovely but somewhat hideous school to stay open. Who's in charge now, huh?

Anyway, I got off in a tangent there. Basically, I destroyed Jenna's career. And I tried to do the same thing to Gabriella, so that Ryan and I could be leads once again and not hit a rut in our careers. The only thing in my way? Her singing partner- Troy Bolton. Why did she have to take to him? Couldn't she have found a geeky little decathlon guy to fall in love with?

WAIT WAIT! That's another thing they don't teach you in high school. We'll come back to that later.

So _of course_ they won leads. And _of course_ Ryan and I were supporting roles and understudies. And _of course_ they got a standing ovation and thunderous applause. And I was completely and utterly horrified.

See? Hold on to your career as tightly as possible and don't ever try to let anyone into it. Ever. Seriously, it has horrible consequences.

* * *

**2- The Person You Really Thought You Knew, You Really Have No Clue**

Once again, experienced it first-hand.

Actually, I've experience all of these things first-hand, so I guess I can stop saying that.

Ryan Jacob Evans. My own twin brother. Born four and a half minutes before me- yes, everyone thinks I'm the older one, but I'm not- with all of the same facial features as myself. My fraternal twin. My equal. My other half. My womb-buddy.

How could he have betrayed me for the _Wildcats_?!

He and I have been so freakin' close since birth. When we were three, we used to dress alike when we went out in public. I'd wear a yellow sundress, he'd wear a yellow polo shirt and jean shorts, and we'd play together, perfectly in-sync. And when we'd walk around, his right hand would _always_ be in my left. Always. We didn't have the weird twin telepathy thing, like other twins did, because we were fraternal, not identical. But sometimes, I felt things he did, and vice-versa. It was weird, but when he fell off of his bike in the fourth grade and shattered his kneecap, I started to cry and clutched my knee, even though I wasn't anywhere near him. And then in ninth grade when we went to the dentist and I had to get a tooth pulled, I was fine, but Ryan screamed and smacked a hand against his cheek, feeling my pain.

Weird, huh? When we were little, we tried to see if that could happen every time. I remember purposely injuring ourselves to see if the other one felt it.

We usually didn't. But hey, we were stupid kids, what can I say?

Anyway, you'd think that through all of this, Ryan and I would be closer than ever, right?

Wrong.

It's not my fault that I want him to be a star. We were so close when we were little, and I figured I could salvage that. Problem? Stupid Ryan wants to play stupid baseball with stupid Chad!

I hate Chad!

First he wants to make fun of me by _insisting_ on calling me the 'Ice Princess'- which, by the way, that movie was absolutely horrible. Ugh. Whoever made it should be jailed-. And then he wants to steal my brother and consistently remind me that Troy is with Gabriella, not me.

ARGH! I made reference to Troy again! Sorry!!

So yeah. I think Ryan and I have some catching up to do. But basically, you could just lose that connection you have, so watch out for it. Whether it's a friend or a sibling; either way sucks. You think you know someone and then they do something idiotic like this...

And trust me, it doesn't feel good.

* * *

**3- Everyone Falls In Love With The Wrong Person**

This one is dead.freaking.on.

It's like in the classic Shakespeare play- GASP! Did Sharpay just make reference to _Shakespeare_? Ha ha, you're too funny. - _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. Did you read that one? It's a good one. Basically, there's this girl and she's in love with this guy who's in love with her, but she's supposed to be married to this other guy who's also in love with her. And then there's another girl who's in love with guy number two, but he doesn't love her back. So this fairy-guy, or something, waves this potion over them to make the right people fall in love, but it doesn't work. Girl number one falls in love with guy number two, and vice-versa and girl number two falls in love with guy number one, and vice versa. So the whole thing is screwed up and the fairy-dude comes back and sprinkles the potion again, 'cause he realizes he messed the whole thing up, and then girl number one and guy number one fall in love and guy number two and girl number two fall in love, and then there's this huge sex scene and they get married.

...

Well maybe that wasn't too basic. But it's a good play. Read it! Read it, I say!

So that's basically what's happened here. Get this: Gabriella Montez- shy, innocent, too smart for her own good, nerdy, kind of a loser, weird clothes. Troy Bolton- outgoing, confident, soooo hot, adorable, great smile, great hair, star athlete, wonderful eyes...

Who would've ever though _they_ would get together?

Oh, there's more. Don't think it ends there. Taylor McKessie: smart and practical, attitudinal, always knows what's going on with everybody, and everybody's friend. Kind of. Chad Danforth: idiotic basketball jock, boneheaded ignoramus, knows _nothing_ about anyone, and no one really likes him... except the basketball team. And Taylor. He's kind of a jerk sometimes.

And he stole my brother. Remind me, why are he and Taylor dating?

Oh oh! There's one more. Kelsi Nielson: shiest girl you'll ever meet in your life, composer, afraid to stand up for herself, will agree to anything to make sure no one is ever mad at her. Ryan Evans... need I say more?

What the hell? That's all I have to say.

So you may think the hottie from fourth period Chemistry was checking you out last Thursday, but that just isn't the case, since he was seen making out with your best friend the day after. Unfortunately, everyone falls in love with the wrong person in high school. But they don't realize it until college.

* * *

**4- No Matter How Hard You Try For Something, You Never Get It**

Okay, this isn't always the case. But for me, it's happened on more than one occasion.

But we'll only talk about the important one.

Do you know how many times I've tried to get Troy Bolton's attention?

Let's start from the beginning. Second grade was my first trial. That's when I first realized I liked him. It was me and Ryan's birthday and we'd made cupcakes for the class. I made a fuss the night before about saving extra batter to make an extra one for Troy. So we brought them to class and I said, "Here Troy, I made an extra cupcake for you!" Exactly like that; all cute and bubbly, he couldn't have said no to me, right? Well he didn't... not exactly. He took the cupcake, glanced at Jason who gave him an evil, menacing smile, and then smashed the cupcake against the pretty sparkly folder my aunt brought me from a supply store in Paris.

I could've cried. But I didn't.

And I didn't give up either. I was _determined_. In fourth grade, I asked him if he wanted to come to a town revival of _Wicked_, one of my all-time favorite musicals. He said yes, reluctantly, and I was absolutely overjoyed. Unfortunately, he brought Chad with him, and the two of them spent the whole time throwing popcorn and candy into the orchestra pit, laughing every time they nailed a guy in the head or lodged a Milk Dud in a trumpet.

I was annoyed as hell. But I still didn't give up. In sixth grade, I asked him out. He said he didn't want to date that early, but I knew it was just a ridiculous excuse. In eighth grade we went to the semi-formal together, and I was sooo excited. He spent like no time with me, but I was just happy to be there with him. Ninth grade came and went, and we were still 'just friends'. By the time tenth grade rolled around, I knew I _needed_ to be with him. But I couldn't be. Because all hopes were lost.

Tenth grade was when Troy met Gabriella.

He promised me before Christmas break we'd have dinner sometime, just the two of us, and that he'd come see me in the upcoming musical. Psh, what a liar. I knew there was something wrong with him when he came back from break in this daze. And then I saw him in the halls with _her_. Ugh, I could've cried.

But again, I didn't.

Instead, I tried to sabotage their relationship in any way possible. I even broke them up a few times and was sooo happy I did so. I know, that sounds soo bitchy of me, but... what can I say? I'm a natural.

But they'd always get back together, those bitches.

I guess Troy never liked me in that way. So if you're trying to go after someone else's guy, take my advice:

Don't give up like I did.

* * *

**5- Blondes Have More Fun**

You're probably a brunette or a redhead reading this, but you know that it's true.

Despite the dumb blonde jokes, everyone is always complimenting me on my lovely blonde hair. And when tested, it's been proven that guys prefer blonde-haired blue-eyed girls to others. ... Well maybe I made that part up. But can you blame me? All those dumb blonde jokes are out to get us, so I have to do _something_ to compensate for that.

But there is this one joke, oh god, it kills me! Normally I'm opposed to the mocking of blondes, but for this one I'll make an acception.

Okay, so there were two sisters, a blonde and a brunette. They had just inherited their father's old ranch, but they needed a bull because the old one had died. So the brunette told the blonde to stay at home and come into town to get the bull when she called her. The blonde said, "Okay." The brunette went into town with one-thousand dollars and bought the bull for nine hundred and ninety nine dollars. She went to the telegram station to send one to her sister, but each word cost a dollar, and she only had one dollar left. The clerk asked her what word she wanted to send, and she thought about it for a long time. After a while, the brunette replied, "Comfortable." The clerk looked at her in confusion. "Comfortable? Why?" The brunette laughed and explained, "My sister's a blonde. She'll have to break down the word. Com for ta ble."

HAHAH! Get it?? Com for ta ble? Come for the bull? HAHAHAH!!

...

You get it, don't you?

Psh, blondes.

* * *

**6- Having Everything Does Not Mean Total Happiness**

You know me; I'm Sharpay Evans.

Sharpay freaking Evans. Rich girl. Kind of bitchy at times. Has to get everything she wants. Rich girl. Can't stay in her own business. Rich girl. Always gossiping. Prom queen. Rich girl. Aspiring Actress. Rich girl. Star of the show. Rich girl.

Rich girl. Rich girl. Rich girl. See a pattern here?

People think that's what it's all about. Well guess what, this isn't the hokey-pokey. And life isn't all about money. I mean, I may have a convertible, a huge house, a few dozen pairs of Ugg boots- hey, I need to match every winter outfit- a few thousand dollars worth of hair and makeup accessories, etc. etc. You'd have all of this stuff too if _your_ dad owned a country club!

So I got everything I wanted. I should be happy, right?

Well I'm not.

I don't have a strong family relationship, since dad's always managing the club twenty-four-seven and mom's... I don't actually know. Last time I heard from her, she was in Sweden, learning the ancient art of the Swedish deep-tissue massage. Okay, whatever mom. And Ryan's totally not into acting anymore; he's always staying after school, hanging out with Gabriella, Kelsi, and Troy, or practicing pitching and swinging with Chad on the baseball court.

Wait, it's a square isn't it? Or is it a rhombus? Ahh, who cares?

Essentially, having everything- Diamond! It's a baseball diamond! I'm so proud of myself!

... Now what were we talking about? Eh, whatever. You get the picture.

* * *

**7- Being Popular Is NOT What High School Is About... And It Sucks**

Granted, I like the attention, but do you all _really_ know what it's like constantly being in the public eye?

You don't? Well you're in luck, Chuck. I'm going to tell you.

You're constantly being watched, constantly being talked to, and nobody ever leaves you alone. Seriously I have followers- Jackie, Emma, Leah, you know the kind. They want to be like you, they cut their hair and dye it your color, curling it when you curl it, straightening it when you straighten it. They find out exactly where you bought your clothes so they can dress like you and wear almost the same thing the same time you do. They talk like you, they eat like you, the walk like you...

Basically, popularity is like cloning. It's creepy.

And, the people in high school who are the most popular right now will be the least popular later on. It's been proven.

Popularity is all fake. People are crazy and fanatic, and everybody looks like plastic. All the populars (which totally isn't a word, but shut the hell up) seem like they never get hurt, but they _do_. They honestly are like plastic; plastic can take one heck of a beating. Plastic can crack, plastic can shatter, but plastic can never bleed. So they never show you any emotion, giving off the impression that their life is perfect.

But it never really is.

Usually, popular girls- or guys, it doesn't matter- have some kind of family issue. I've already told you mine; we're not close. At all. Sometimes the parents are divorced, sometimes one of the parents is dead, sometimes there's abuse in the picture, whether it's verbal or physical, alcoholism, drug abuse... it could be anything. But they try so hard to make it look like things are absolutely flawless in their not-so-perfect lives. And you envy them, don't deny it. I know you do.

But... do you still envy them now? It's not that great.

Remember- High school is a place that gives people opportunities to be cool, athletic, sexy, and bullying.But once high school is over, those chances are gone.

Live it up well.

* * *

**8- First Dates Are The Most Awkward Situation... Ever.**

Ugh. Need I relive this?

After the big championship game in our junior year, with the Wildcats winning for the second year Zeke Baylor, probably the only guy I haven't talked about by now, asked me out to dinner at his parents' restaurant. We were kinda-sorta an item at the time, but we'd never been out on an official date yet. And I was absolutely starving, so I agreed.

Oh my god. It was creepy.

You see, Zeke sort of has this... big family. And they all... work in the restaurant. So while we were ordering, they kept glancing over at us, or pointing and grinning, or even, dare I mention this, taking pictures for Zeke's mom's scrapbook.

Yeah, I know.

So you could believe my horror when his father came over to us with two heaping plates of spaghetti and meatballs, which I didn't even order, and then pulled out his old-fashioned accordion (honestly, it's like the huge ugly ones you see in old movies) and began playing, 'That's Amore.' Are you freaking kidding me?

To top it all off, Zeke and I didn't even talk half the time. We didn't have much to say. I didn't pay much attention to the game, since I was too busy rolling my eyes and sighing huffily whenever Gabriella would cheer for Troy. He was too tired to think of anything to say- it was a pretty tough game- and tried to bring up the dumbest conversation items.

"So... how about those Mets, huh?"

It wasn't even baseball season.

I don't have much advice for this one. Good luck, girls.

* * *

**9- Girls You Think Hates You, Just May Surprise You**

Gabriella. I'm talking about Gabriella, in case that wasn't obvious.

I lost my favorite lip gloss, stuck the eyeliner pencil in my eye... repeatedly, broke a heel on my _favorite_ pair of stilettos (ugh, you don't even know how horrible that feels), spilled grape jelly on my white miniskirt, and burned my scalp with the straightening iron.

It was a horrible day.

To make it even better, I was late to school, I failed a math and a science test, I forgot my lunch and didn't have money to buy more than a bag of chips, I got wailed in the head with a really _really _fast volleyball, and in Drama Club Miss Darbus decided that my voice wasn't suited for the solo in one of the musical songs and gave it to someone else.

I was seriously so frustrated that I slumped backstage and started to cry.

And guess who came after me? Go on, guess!

It was Gabriella. Who guess Gabriella? Good for you! For the others, who did you think it was? Kelsi? Come on!!

I was slumped against the lockers outside of the auditorium, tears pouring out of my eyes and totally feeling sorry for myself when she knelt next to me and asked,

"Sharpay... are you okay?"

Was this girl blind? Do people normally burst into tears when they're 'okay'? Maybe they did in San Diego, but welcome to Albuquerque, Gabriella. The real world.

But somehow I couldn't be negative to her. It was so weird, since I wasn't very civil to her any other time. Except this one. "No," I'd cried. "This is the worst day of my life."

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I echoed. "What's right?"

She laughed. "You're so dramatic."

"No Gabriella, really. Everything that could go wrong today, did. I failed the tests I thought I did well on, I didn't have any lunch except for a few baked Lays, and that stupid bitch Mikayla got the solo... not me!"

"Well," Gabriella sighed, sitting beside me. "They were only a few tests, I'm sure you can bring your grade up. They'll be others. I have some money in my bag if you want to get something from the vending machine in the cafeteria. And as for Mikayla? Forget her. We can turn her mic off during the dress rehearsal so it sounds like she can't sing."

She grinned at me and all I could do was laugh. Well, well. Gabriella Montez _did_ have a wild side. "Sounds like a plan."

"Okay," She giggled along, standing and reaching for my hand. I took it and she pulled me off the floor. "Let's go, I think I know where the mic equipment is."

"Ooh Mikayla! Watch out! You're gonna get it now!"

I smirked. "That's what she gets for messing with Sharpay Evans!"

Gabriella nodded in agreement. "Nobody messes with you and gets away with it."

I think I'm beginning to like this girl...

* * *

**10- Life Is NOT A Disney Channel Movie**

Um, need I say more?

You don't break out into song and dance any chance you get. Your life may not be like mine, or Gabriella's, or Troy's, but your life is yours. Enjoy it.

Disney movies always have a happy ending, and I know for a fact that life doesn't always turn out that way. Don't follow Disney, mmkay? You aren't going to be at a party and then start singing with this random girl and end up with her twelve days later.

Life isn't like that. But you know what? That's Disney.

'Nuff said.

XOX, Sharpay Evans.


End file.
